At Long Last…

Greg, Claira & I are planning a trip to visit family over Memorial Day weekend. It will be the first time Greg & I have flown together (we have always driven wherever we’ve gone), and it will be Claira’s first trip on an airplane! We are flying to Louisiana to visit my dear friend, Cyndi, her husband Darrel, and her son, Mikhael. Cyndi & I have known each other for 18 years, mostly through letters & emails, but also an occasional visit. Mikhael is our main connection. Cyndi is his adoptive mom; I am his birth mom.

Cyndi & I first met during a phone call, through a mutual friend. When our friend called to ask if I would be interested in talking to them, I said I would and the next night, they called. I can remember hearing this soft, Southern drawl on the other end of the phone and was immediately “taken” with her. I had developed a minor list of questions, because I had visited an adoption agency and had already looked at several prospective family files. We ended up talking for much longer than I anticipated, and when I hung up the phone, I walked into the living room and announced to my family that I had found the parents who would adopt my baby. I just knew it was them.

On the day Mikhael was born, I was able to have a few hours just with him alone. When Cyndi & her husband walked into the room, though, it did not feel like an invasion. She walked in with a big smile and open arms and sat on my bed and hugged us both. She always told me that no matter what they would love me – if I decided to change my mind while they were there, it was okay and I should do what I needed to. Because Mikhael was jaundiced, he was in the hospital for nearly a week. Even after I was discharged, Cyndi would make sure that I could be at the hospital with them and with Mikhael and we spent as much time together as we could.

We originally agreed to try to stay in touch for one year after his first 3 months. Those first 3 months of non-contact were good for me to really come to terms with my decision and to give Mikhael & his family the chance to connect as a family. When the three months had passed I was shocked to receive a large package in the mail that contained among many things, a small photo album full of pictures of Mikhael with his new family. It was wonderful! From that time forward, Cyndi has been so wonderful to share pictures and news of Mikhael. I got to watch him grow up, from a distance, and see how happy he was. I saw pictures of Mikhael that reminded me of a family member, or even seeing myself in the mirror. She shared stories of his antics and their vacations – she included me in his life in ways I never imagined possible.

When Greg & I married in 2003, I had told him about Mikhael. He was so understanding and said our door would always be open to Mikhael. We had several talks about the possibility of meeting Mikhael, especially once we began to have children, and he even said he would not be surprised of Mikhael showed up on our doorstep one day, and that he would welcome him into our home. I was always surprised by that. Not because Greg isn’t that kind of man, but because I had been certain so long ago that a man like him – someone who would be so open and accepting – would be difficult to find.

Cyndi wrote us a letter last December and wrote that Mikhael had said “it is time to meet my mom” and would we be able to plan a get together Summer 2006? WOW! So at long last, the plans have been made, the tickets have been bought, and we will be on our way in just a few days. I am very excited and very nervous, no matter how many people say I don’t have to be nervous. Mikhael has grown into a very handsome young man and I am very privileged and honored that he wants to meet me and my family. It is important to me that Greg & Claira be able to meet him and get to know him along with me. Cyndi tells me Mikhael has my smile, gives great hugs and is a really great kid. I’m anxious to see this for myself… In person…

I’ll update the blog with photos & notes on our visit as I can, with Mikhael’s blessing. We’ll have a short time to be together, but I know we’ll soak up every second we can.

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Posted in Life. 2 Comments »

2 Responses to “At Long Last…”

  1. Lori Says:

    Debbie,

    You are in my prayers. I pray that God will bless your weekend and may it be all that you hope and dream. And, like others, I will tell you not to worry…everyone that knows you just loves you!!

    Lori

  2. Anonymous Says:

    Dearest Deb,

    We have been so blessed by you and your family. Your words speak kindness and love that we have been so fortunate to share through our Christian faith. The letters we have shared over the years have blessed my soul, and now we have email! (smile) This visit was not long enough. This morning as I heard Claira, when she awoke, oh how I praise God for you and your beautiful family. You have so richly blessed my soul! Thank you, thank you, thank you!

    Thank you for bringing your scrap book! Mikhael was about 3 or 4years old and we went to Missouri for Naomi’s graduation from BBC. We were so blessed you spent the night and you showed Mikhael how to make monkey faces with oranges. He still does monkey face and repeats what you said when you made the face with an orange slice in your mouth – “monkey face”. I told him he got that from you, because once every so often, he does it again and he says really and we both smile because we have that memory. Now he can see that for himself the stories are true.

    God gives us children for a season, and we never know how long that season will be. All we can do is love them, pray for them, and give all we can with the time we have. I am so glad God allowed us the privilege to share Mikhael. I am so every grateful God blessed us with you and your family! I could not see being selfish and not sharing Mikhael. I feel like I maybe let the trouble years of my life hold him closer and not share as much, because I really needed him, please forgive me. Now you shared Greg and Claira with us! You really do help complete life’s circle. I see so much of you in him through his eyes, cheeks, nose and chin.

    God has blessed us both with a wonderful son. I could not imagine how life would have been without the sweet savor of your touch of life. You allowed God to use you. You took on so much suffering, ridicule, shame, for the sake of standing your beliefs. I thank God & you for your love and applaud you for your stand! I can only imagine how things were for you and your family 18 years ago. You time of need, when you needed support, it seemed your whole support system had moved out of country and it was just you and God handling things. Not that God can not handle any situation, but how sweet it would have been to have someone say, “I know this is tough, but God has a plan for your life, and you will be blessed for your right choice and we are praying for you.” We loved you the instant we met you, it was as if God shined his love through that hospital room and showed us just like Moses, he had some great plans for this child.

    I am sorry that I can not put into words the way my heart truly feels for you. It is as if I see you and I feel we have known each other since your birth. We get together and the time between visits disappears. You are family. I just loved that elder at church yesterday that was so sure that we were sisters. Little things like that and how our stories have touched our friends and complete strangers. How could any mortal do that – I say not – for it was God.

    With deep sincere love,
    Cyndi


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