I should preface this blog with this note: This was my first time away from Claira since she was born, except for 1 night when she stayed at my parent’s while Greg & I celebrated our anniversary. I should probably add that the hotel Greg & I stayed at was 15 minutes away from my folks’ house.
My mom & I attended the WOF conference in Ft Wayne this past weekend. We were able to attend the Pre-conference, All Cracked-Up, on Friday. The speakers were Sandi Patty and Patsy Claremont. See the link on the right for more info – I’m SO totally looking to go again in 2007!!!
I have to establish here and now that Sandi Patty will forever be my all time favorite musical artist EVER. My mom & I attended several of her concerts while I was growing up – I have owned various albums and recordings of hers, and mom told me she’d read her autobiography recently – so I was very excited to know Sandi would be a featured speaker over the weekend. I call her Sandi like she’s one of my girlfriends… I was hoping she would sing a song or two while speaking, and she ended up giving us a mini-concert. I was BESIDE MYSELF! She rocks like nobody else anywhere! After hearing her testimony and life story – especially being a fan of hers for as long as I have been – I was reminded once again of just how much God loves each and every one of us just as we are.
Patsy Claremont was a very pleasant surprise. I had pictured her in a very different way and on stage bounced this spritely, spunky little elf of a gal who could be both hysterically funny and incredibly poignant all at once. She had us rolling with laughter until our sides hurt. She told the story of Gideon (Judges 6-7) and how God used “cracked pots” to bring a victory when Gideon and 300 men faced a seemingly invincible enemy army. All good reminders that no matter who we are, what we have or have not done – if God calls us we can count on Him to equip us. Doesn’t mean it will be easy or without trouble – but if 300 men armed with trumpets, torches and clay pots can assist in decimating an enemy…
This fits in perfectly with the whole – “Am I a good wife/mom?” question I ask of myself all the time. Feeling guilty for working outside the home (and enjoying it) – getting weary & frustrated with endless piles of laundry, dishes, diapers, bottles – not staying caught up with journaling the memories of Claira’s life, let alone Greg’s & mine – not staying in touch with dear friends – did I mention piles of laundry, dishes, etc.? – losing my temper when I am asked to do just one more thing for one more person, even when it is my husband Greg asking for something simple… I am reminded that it’s not about being perfect (I should have to write this 100 times on a blackboard every day, I think) – and that the weariness of soul and body I feel can actually be met by abiding in Christ. So how does one go about doing that? I think I am just beginning to learn.
I’ve just started reading “Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World” and I’m not even through Chapter 1 yet, and already the idealistic, perfectionistic picture of myself and my world that I’ve taken is being directly attacked by the story of Mary & Martha. I am definitely a Martha – scurrying to DO and not to just BE. Bless my family’s hearts – I stress myself out with ideas and notions that have nothing to do with BEING a good wife & mom. Hopefully, I learn (not just from the daily grind of things) to let go and relax and just BE. It sounds perfectly lovely.
I saw a plaque at my Aunt Vicky’s house that has one of my all-time favorite Bible verses on it and I think I AM going to remind myself of this every day with a well-placed note in my bathroom. I memorized this verse as a little girl and need the reminder:
Psalm 46:10a – Be Still and know that I am God.
That’s it. That’s what he says to do. Just two things. Be still (not easy for someone whose name means “honeybee” and lives according to the “Flight of the Bumblebee” soundtrack). Know that HE is God. Not just God – but the “I Am” God.
More to come…