So I haven’t posted Part II of “Dr Jekyll, Mrs. Hyde” but that could be because Mrs. Hyde has completely possessed my mind, body, and soul this week, and she’s looking to kick some butt. (So NO negative comments!!!)
I should warn you that this is a Personal Blog, and I’m going to get VERY PERSONAL and real here today. If you are squeamish or object to discussion of bodily functions, I suggest you stop reading. NOW.
Honestly, for those of you who know me well, my cycles have been off since I had Tater last summer. Went on Yaz as preventative measure with the added hope that it would help treat the dreaded PMS I’ve always had. My OB/GYN then announced she was relocating and was gone before I could even blink, let alone get another script for bcp, OR anything for the PPD I was beginning to feel. I ended up calling the new office she was transferring to and one of the (kind) doctors there, gave me a prescription to get started for Zoloft.
The first month on – FANTASTIC – almost felt like a new woman. The second month, hmmm, a few symptoms and some physical annoyances, but not enough to make me stop taking it. The third month – and I quit taking them in the middle of the month. Not only did it NOT regulate my cycle, but I had started taking Sertraline (generic Zoloft) for PPD, and I didn’t know if they were conflicting or what but I was having a lot of weird symptoms, so I stopped taking both (and weaned myself off the Sertraline somewhat quickly).
THEN, while researching Yaz a bit more at a later date, I discovered a whole message board of “yasminsurvivors” that talks about the horrible effects they suffered while on and after taking Yaz… Lovely. (I won’t link that here because it’s a message board, but you could Google it to find out more info if you’re interested).
Anyway – so after stopping taking the pill, my body went bonkers again trying to readjust. I found out this is common for those coming off this particular BCP, but when my period had not returned after 6 weeks, I began rampant pregnancy-testing – ALL of which were negative, thank you, LORD! Which means I can start taking my antidepressant again and maybe level out at some point… And, finally, my cycle has returned, but I seem to be paying for not being regular for the past few months…
Meanwhile, the home front has suffered dramatically as my mood swings, emotional reactions and outbursts, and general instability have once again increased. I’m very frustrated by this. I don’t like being the ragged, hairy monster that is Mrs. Hyde. I don’t like it. I don’t want it. I do my best to tame her down – but it’s like I’ve swallowed the “magic” potion and have to wait for it to just. wear. off. There does not seem to be any real antidote. I feel like I’m a slave to my hormones, but taking anything that might control those hormones (such as a BCP) may be a greater “evil” and I’m really not sure what to do.
So, I’ll go back to the ol’ drawing board –
Start eating better. Start walking more. (Watch what I’m eating & exercise.)
Take my prescription and stay on it until I’m confident I can wean myself off successfully.
Pray that my body readjusts itself and that the hormones can be better regulated, and that my family is shielded until then. The girls are small and resilient, but I want to be careful for them. Roy is a really good man and has learned a lot of things about my hormones first hand and he loves me, but let’s face it, even with his extensive education, understanding PMS / PMDD / PPD is NOT the same as living near and around it…
AND – this is all after the growing problem of a constipated Princess!!! From Day One of her little life, we have always known when Curly was going to “eliminate” – aw heck, let’s call a spade a spade – We always knew when Curly was going to POOP – because she would make this braying “donkey” sound. As a matter of fact, I was calling her donkey girl on her 2nd day of life – much to the dismay of her father who thought that was a little mean (but HE had not just pushed her out into the world through an opening that while designed to do so, must STRETCH to do so, so at that point, I didn’t care what he thought.) Curly has always had an interesting digestive system. Some of those incidents have been blogged about. On the other side of the exploding diapers, has been the NON-exploding diapers and chronic constipation. This poor kid is never going to get potty trained with all the problems she’s had (and if that’s the case, people are just going to have to deal with that!)
She’s been on a prescription laxative for over a year. We have also used an arsenal of glycerin suppositories and children’s enemas. NOT PLEASANT – EVER!!! We’ve also given her prune juice by the gallon – added apples and prunes and double fiber bread to her diet. Sugar free ice cream, candy, etc. Lots of fluids. Whatever we thought could help PRODUCE the necessary results to help her little body along without causing permanent damage. It has been a long, difficult struggle and we have all watched her episodes of body-clenched-and-trembling, face-turning-red, doing her best NOT to poop because it “hurts so bad.” “Hurts-so-bad” is probably her native name (no harm intended here) or at least her life motto at this point. It has been her “mantra” this week – which means changing pull-ups, bathing, going potty have all been traumatic and yukky this week. FINALLY after being given a “cocktail” of laxative, prune juice, and sugar free candy, she could not help but poop enough to relieve some of the pressure. But that is only the beginning, and it was only once, so at some point, there may be a blog at the tail end of this (pun definitely intended) about the results of a post-laxative-sugar-free-candy-prune- juice-unblocked-bowel incident…