So now I’m beyond whiny – getting into delirious! Both of our girls are really not napping well, or sleeping through the night. Curly is in a “Monsters” phase ; Georgie is teething or something. I’m sure they can both sense the tension / stress that Roy & I have been feeling and what we’re working through right now. And I’m exhausted.
So I’m trying to take a lot of deep breaths (Oxygen is good for the brain). I don’t have classes again until January. I am putting my WAH business on hold for the moment. I want to focus on my family, myself, our house & home. And I am reminding myself of the gifts, abilities, and strengths that God has given me and that He never gives us more than we can handle. And I know that my exhaustion pales in comparison to others.
My sister-in-law, Lyn, is one tough cookie – and I think about her and pray for her often. When I saw her on Saturday at the fundraiser (garage / rummage / bake sale that my aunts Susie & Vicky put together), she was worn out. Cartman had just had chemo the day before, and he was cranky because he had to get out of the van and couldn’t watch Spongebob anymore. I met them at the van, and I could see both my brother and Lyn, and BOTH of them just kinda looked at each other helpless. What do you do for a 3 year old who is screaming because he wants to watch Spongebob? AND he just doesn’t feel good because he’s essentially got poisons running through his body trying to destroy the disease that could take his life? You take a deep breath and pick him up and carry him around and eventually let him watch Spongebob because it makes him happy.
And when my 3 year old is screaming because she doesn’t want daddy to go to work and I’m exhausted and even intimidated that I have to spend the next several hours with them alone, I have to remind myself that things could actually be more difficult.
Lyn is a mommy and she’ll do what has to be done. My brother does what he can – what’s obvious to him – and I’m not criticizing him one bit. Men are just not wired to see these things, and I’m not sure that anything other than DNA restructuring in a lab would change that. But there’s a reason for it. Mommies are supposed to be the ones who hold the screaming kids, and we’re the ones they want when they’re screaming – cuz we’re soft on the outside, and learn how to be strong as steel on the inside. I’ve seen moms do it time and time again.
My dear friend, Terry, with her daughter who had to have a liver transplant before she was 2 years old. And now my sister in law, Lyn.
They remind me of the characters in “Steel Magnolias” – you know, where they talk about how men are supposed to be the tough guys, and these women are supposed to be like magnolias. But in reality, mommies are like Steel Magnolias. Period. And when called upon, we learn to stand up and face the hurricane of life right in the face to take care of our babies. When we’re sad. Or mad. Or poor. Or tired.
So here’s to all you Mommas, you Steel Magnolias. Know that we each pray for you and admire you and thank God for you. Without you, none of us would be around…