As my note to the right says, “I am currently under construction…”
I see this comment on blogs, and very often it refers to the structure / look of the blog. That’s not quite what I meant.
I meant that I, as in me, am seriously under construction. The past year has brought dramatic & drastic changes to my life on so many levels that to list them all would create some kind of hyperblog which would overwhelm the internet, I’m afraid. So I exaggerate some, but only a little.
Being in the hand of God – being formed, shaped, hammered, fired – it is a process I welcome. It is a process I experience fully, too – all the ups & downs, the strain and the stress. I don’t always yield. I don’t always take it well. And some days (like today) I completely fall apart and cry out to God, and say, “I can’t do this. I cannot take anymore of this. Give me a break!”
And whether or not He stops hammering away is up to Him. Like a blacksmith, He cannot give up just because the metal piece he is working on groans under His hard work.
At the same time I am suffering and feel I’m going to split into a million pieces, He is working. Very hard. Sweating. Straining. Using every muscle to produce the right pressure. Trying to get the shape exactly right, knowing each blow is crucial to finding the perfect shape & form.
We are in this together, He & I. Whatever tools He uses to strike the blows are left to His wise decision. And while I meet some work with great groaning and suffering, I have to learn to rest as He chips away at the imperfections which would keep me from serving Him fully.
Not easy. For either one of us. But good work. It is good work. And I pray that I will be worthy of His purpose!