The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.

Did you happen to  read “The Best ofpost last Friday?  Did you happen to notice a running theme? 

Bodily Functions…

I’m a mom. Not only do I deal with my own bodily functions, but I’ve also been given the responsibility of dealing with others’ too.

It’s something I get to deal with even though I was NOT given a full description or details of what the job entails.

And it just so happens on Friday that I found myself – once again – up to my elbows in the contents of Georgie’s pull-up.  At Target.

Did you know that Pull-ups are NOT designed to contain great volumes of, well, imagine the worst and you get the idea…

Therefore, we had to BUY her a new outfit to replace the aforementioned contaminated outfit.

I should carry cow gloves in my purse.

Seriously.

WHAT IS THE DEAL?

Do you KNOW how many times I have found myself in a public restroom (or in a car on a long driving trip) dealing with what appears to be a nuclear explosion emanating from one of two of the most beautiful creatures I’ve ever seen on this planet?

We have constipation at home.

We have Mt. St. Helens when we go places.

Would you believe that this time I had the presence of mind to attempt to take a photograph of the unnatural disaster?  But of course, my cell phone was just about dead and it wouldn’t work.  I was going to text it to Roy (who GAGS at the mention of bodily functions) but doggone it if my phone camera would NOT WORK.

SO. NOT. FAIR.

Dealing with poop and pee – especially other people’s – is NOT my favorite activity.  It’s not my hobby.  It’s not something I enjoy.

I think it’s one of those “fine print” parts of the Mommy contract and most people don’t want to talk about it.

But I’m not most people…

Considering my history and experience with the stuff, I feel it’s my duty to tell it like it is.  To acknowledge the realities of motherhood.

The Good.

The Bad.

The Reeeeeaaaaaaallllllllllllyyyyyyyyyyyyy UGLY….

P. S. – Just as I was getting ready to hit “publish” my 4 year old comes out of the bathroom talking about The Poop Fairy…  I’d rather have a Poop Fairy Godmother…

Advertisements

2 Responses to “The Good. The Bad. The Ugly.”

  1. Christine Holroyd Says:

    I’ve mostly been very fortunate on outings with my one and only child, now 4 yrs old. I had a good giggle (sorry!) at your comments. I do hope that the Poop Fairy Godmother materialises in your life soon. I’ve avoided pull ups for the very reason you have mentioned. They are so darned awkward to take off no matter what the contents.

  2. Dawn Says:

    Just…well, funny! I can’t believe this stuff happens to people…much less all of it happens to you. GEEZ Deb. HILARIOUS! And Mt. St. Helens…only someone from the NW would compare the two. Haha! Love reading your blogs. Makes my day, my friend!!!!!


Comments are closed.

%d bloggers like this: