The New-er Do

So I had to make a change to my new do. It was too long. Seriously. After 10 days, I was still wearing headbands to keep my hair out of my face and in the heat it was still too much hair. So it’s been updated and vamped up a bit. Maybe it doesn’t look different in these pics, but it sure as heck FEELS different.  The less time required to get myself in decent shape in the mornings – the better!

Um, so tell me the truth Moms out there – do you EVER get to relax? I don’t just mean have nice, quiet times with your family, or enjoy a bubble bath & do-it-yourself-spa treatment. I mean – do you ever feel calm at any point other than when your family has gone to bed? I feel CONSTANTLY “on call” – even when Roy or anyone else is helping. I feel like I’m constantly holding my breath waiting for the next disaster, chasing chores just to be sure I have ONE clean bottle or sippy cup, or always running a few steps behind which means I MISS routing Curly to the bathroom before she pees on the floor…

Any advice on how to find some serenity and calm and peace, without completely avoiding my family or fashioning some sort of restraint for my girls (which would certainly be reported as child abuse even if it was covered in princess sparklies & feathers…) Is it JUST always going to be hard? Cuz if that’s the case, then I’m going to start therapy now…

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Where does the time go?

it’s been almost a week since I’ve written anything here!  How does that happen?  I’ve been doing some personal devotions and journaling more, so maybe my brain is tricked into thinking I’ve done all the writing I need to…

And then there’s the realization that in just a week, my baby will be ONE year old!  That can’t be possible.  Little Tater Bug is just a loving, sweet, funny little character.  She is petite like a pixie – she’ll wrinkle her nose at you to get you to smile (especially if she’s doing something she shouldn’t).  She’s fearless (don’t ask how many times she fell on the stairs today!) and curious!  She’s pointing at things she wants, signing the word “please” and trying to say many words.  Her hair, which was so thick & black when she was born and fell out after a few months, is coming in nice & thick again, but in a shade more like her sister’s.  Some days it looks red, but others it’s just a pretty, shiny brown.

I think about the past year and what we’ve gone through.  When we’ve been in the middle of some of the tough spots, it felt like time stood still.  But looking back, wow – what a ride!

I’m settling into my Mommy role.  It’s not easy.  I’m not really unselfish by nature, and there are moments I don’t think I want to be a mom. (There I said it.)  But, when sanity returns, I’m aware of the precious and amazing gifts I’ve been given in my husband & two daughters, and I’m so humbled and grateful.  God is calling me to serve my family – and while that wounds my stubborn pride so deeply, that’s not something I can’t live without.  My family on the other hand – well, I wouldn’t trade them for all the chocolate in the world!

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WAHU Wednesday

So, i don’t have any whining to do today!  yes, it’s a record – hold your applause!

Seriously, though, I DO have to talk about my Work at Home United business…  I’ve had a learning curve with it – I’m not a business-woman per se, but the more involved I’ve gotten, and the more committed I’ve become – the more I have grown to love what I do.  WHEN I can do it, that is. =) 

The great thing is – I don’t sell a darn thing.  I’m like LeBron James or Tiger Woods for Nike.  I get to advertise for a company, and earn commissions from sales.  I get to be a customer saving 30-40% on some A-MA-ZING products that work SO WELL and are naturally derived and safer for my family because they don’t contain registered pesticides, carcinogens, or hormone disruptors (ever checked your product labels???) or any other ingredients that harm the environment.

So let’s see – I don’t sell anything, I get to shop online for discounts buying products I use everyday, and these products are safer and won’t hurt the environment.  My only “job” is to tell other people about them – people I care about and even people I don’t know.  Yeah – so I basically get paid to talk and shop.  Seriously, who needs a day job!!!

WAHU is right!!!

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The Sassy New Do…

I posted pics on Myspace and forgot to get them posted here. My mother reminded me of that today! So, here goes:

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Sassy!

Do you ever feel like getting your hair cut is kinda like the impetus for life change? I have felt that before – not every time – but there have been those times that getting my hair cut was something like cutting off the old and expecting new growth in my life, not just on my head. (overanalyzing?)

So, I got my hair chopped yesterday. I wanted something drastic & dramatic – and that’s what I got. I’m actually thinking about getting just a bit more cut off to be honest. I was growing it out – took too much time to style when I did it, and when I didn’t it was a headband or ponytail (or both) and just gross in the heat. So it’s cut now. Modern. Easy. Sassy! It’s also colored. Wow – is it colored. Deep red – like mahogany. The thing about red color is that it fades faster, so stronger at first is good. I love it. Roy loves it. Curly & Tater love it. The gals in the salon said it was “Sassy” and I thought – yep, that’s what I want.

I’m sassy. kinda always have been – explains a lot of my daughters’ attitudes, too. Sassy is good. Yesterday was the 20th anniversary of my high school graduation! I was thinking about it throughout the day. My best friend from high school, Catfish, was with me on the momentous occasion. one of my all time favorite pictures of us is just outside the auditorium in our caps & gowns – hugging, smiling, laughing. Sassy.

I would say that many of my really good friends are Sassy, too. Some more than others – but the ones who are still around tend to be SASSY. I like that. I think it’s a good life theme. To me, it means a combination of several characteristics: funny, sarcastic, spunky, full of life. I see it in my friends. I see it in my girls. And I see it again in myself as I look in the mirror.

Maybe I didn’t need a haircut to know it – maybe I just needed to be reminded that Sassy is there…

Identity Quest

Ya know – I’m 38 years old.  Finishing my college degree.  A wife.  A mom.  A daughter.  A sister.  A friend.  A believer.  And I’m CONSTANTLY questioning who I am.  I’m constantly doubting my abilities and skills and talents.  I’m questioning my strength, my character, and my heart.

I don’t know about the rest of you – but I wear myself out struggling to be comfortable in my own skin.  So I’m undertaking a quest.  A quest to be settled, to be peaceful, to be exhilerated by thriving within my own skin.

God Don’t Make No Junk.  Right?  So it’s time I find a way to accept the things I can’t change, the courage to change what I can, and the wisdom and grace to know the difference.

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Paging Ms. Hyde…

Argh.  “That time of the month” just carries a tone of doom & gloom for me.  This month was not so bad where the “PMS” was concerned.  But I have not cramped like this in several months, and Roy was sensitive (& smart) enough to lay low and just let me be cranky-unhappy-dissatisfied-panicky-impatient Ms. Hyde.

How do I ever explain to my girls that being a woman – that having this regular event in life – is a “blessing???”  I understand the whole having-a-period-means-I-get-to-have-babies.  So how do I prepare them truthfully without instilling in them a sense of dread and fear and distaste for being a woman?

I am actually very concerned about moving into the perimenopausal stage.  Not because I dread menopause – but because I can only IMAGINE the hormonal shifts that will occur something like an earthquake on the Richter scale…  At about the same time my girls begin their “journey of womanhood.”

POOR ROY!!!

This is one month that leading up to the very start of my period, I wasn’t really sure when it was starting.  I didn’t have the typical countdown to liftoff with the very specific symptom-by-symptom approach…  For that I am grateful and relieved.  But the “it” itself has been pretty miserable and even disabling at some points – and I can only say Thank GOD for turtle fudge flurries…

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