What’s Your Plan?

I will be the first person to admit that I am very possessive of MY schedule.  When I make a plan and write down a schedule, I really don’t like unexpected changes.   It’s not that I plan my day out hour by hour or minute by minute.  That’s a bit too rigid for me.

I just have an idea of what needs to get done, how and when (approximately) I’d like to get it done.  Any upset and I am easily irritated and annoyed.

The truth is as much as I pray for God to guide my day and show me the steps to take, I want Him to work within MY schedule.

Yes, that’s right.  I said it.

It’s terribly embarrassing to realize my attempts to box the God of the Universe to fit into my tiny little world.  It’s actually horrifying.

Am I trying to BE God?

Cuz that puts me right in the ranks of a certain angel who lost his place in the heavenlies and became the mortal enemy of God and humanity.

So in praying today, after coming to the realization that I was trying to control my world and asking God to fit within my guidelines, I had to be really honest about giving God my day and asking Him to guide me.  I also had to confess and ask Him to allow me to recognize my pride and need for control.

It goes back to that nasty lie I have believed for so long: “God is not enough.”  If He was, I would not question the interruptions of my day but receive them as part of His plan for me…

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.
~ Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified)

Knowing that God has thoughts for me – plans for me – plans for welfare and peace – and NOT for evil – I can rest and trust that HE is taking care of me and all the details of my life.  I can replace my false belief with the truth and relax with every unexpected blessing He brings my way.

I can make plans and schedule order in my day.  But ultimately, it comes down to Proverbs 16:9:

A man’s mind plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps and makes them sure. (Amplified)

The key to success in my day and schedule, in anyone’s day and schedule, is making plans and giving them to God.  He knows our greatest needs – He knows what we need to accomplish and how we can accomplish them.  He also knows the “fluff” that we fill our days with and will help us line our priorities up with His.

If you have a tough time – like I do – with making and keeping to a schedule or accomplishing your necessary responsibilities – maybe it’s time to go to God and ask Him for His help minute by minute, hour by hour – and to teach you how to put your plan within HIS plan for you.

P.S. – If you need a practical tool to help you stay on top of your family’s schedule and activities – check out my post at Mommies Coffee Break today!  You can’t control every minute of every day, but having order provides some measure of peace. =)


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Complete Randomness…

I LOVE FALL. I don’t know about any of you, but Fall actually energizes me and makes me happy!  I love the cooler weather, the changing leaves, the crunch of them underneath my foot – even the rain.  How do you feel about Fall? I don’t see it as a precursor to Winter, so much as an end to (hot, humid) Summer – so that’s where I’m coming from!

Speaking of Fall, one reason I enjoy the season is that I love to COOK with Fall ingredients, and I really enjoy making soups & stews and baking breads!  I’m planning to share some recipes (some of my own – and some of my friends!) over the next couple of weeks, so stay tuned!

Don’t forget about the Moms Online Bible Study with Jean StockdaleHigh Stepping in Heavenly Places.  (Look how cute the cover of the workbook is – SO totally like my girls!)

Speaking of Bible Study – the Lies Women Believe study I’m in is REALLY impactful!  It really nails some deeply rooted stuff that so many women (not just me) live with.   If you can’t get into a study with someone else, I highly recommend getting the book and the workbook to journal through it yourself!

So, more announcements are coming, but I’ll keep it short & sweet today…

Have a Blessed Day!

More Than Enough – Part 3

Sadly, because I did not believe God was Enough for me, I began my pursuit to find ENOUGH for my life.

Enough money.

Enough status.

Enough friends.

Enough worth.

Enough stuff.

Enough food.

Enough. Enough. Enough!

ENOUGH ALREADY!

As I was washing dishes before lunch on Sunday – feeling raw from the aftermath of discovery and acknowledgment of my sin of discontentment and lack of faith in God – rather than bashing me over the head or pushing me down with guilt, God spoke the words of this song into my heart:

All of You
is More Than ENOUGH for
All of me
for every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your Love
and all I have in You is
More than Enough

More Than Enough

The truth is this:  God is everything anyone ever needs.  Not only is He our Creator, He is our Sustainer.  He can provide our NEEDS down to the food we eat, shelter to protect us, fellowship to encourage us.

He provided manna in the desert to feed a nation.

He provided a ram in the nick of time for a faithful father.

He provided an ark for anyone who would believe Him.

He provides not just a Saviour, but New Life in our Savior.

He provides healing – our Jehovah Rapha.

He is our Provider – Jehovah Jireh.

So – enemy of my soul – let me tell you what you can do with your lie from the pit of hell – you can have it back.  You have no power here.

God is My Father, Jesus is My Saviour and whatever may come – He is More Than Enough for me.






God is Not Enough – Part 2

What a devastating realization to be brought face to face with a lie that has been embraced as a truth in my life for so many years.

God is Not Enough.

If you haven’t read yesterday’s post, start there. As you’re reading this, maybe you have the same reaction to this idea.  A reaction of shock and disbelief.

Of COURSE God is enough.  Isn’t He the Creator of the Universe, Lord of All, Supreme Ruler, Omnipotent, Omniscient, Lord God Almighty!?!  Sure, He’s enough.

Isn’t He?

I found myself staring blankly at a mirror in my mind, coming to the full realization that I had embraced this lie of the enemy and allowed it to seep into every corner and almost every waking thought of my life.

How do I know?

Discontentment.

Discontentment with practically everything in my life, at one point in time or another – or for long periods of time.  Where I live.  Who my friends are or aren’t. What I have or don’t have.  What I drive or don’t drive.  My clothes.  My singleness.  My friends.  My job.  My education. My marriage.  Motherhood.  My body. My identity.

On and on the list goes.

Now I’m not here to simply confess this to you, but my purpose instead is to share with you that the lies of our enemy are so silky smooth, we may have held onto them for decades.  We may have grabbed on to some twisted truth that has entered our life in the midst of some trauma – a lie that has seeped in and changed our perception of the Truth about God.

God does not change.  God is forever Alpha & Omega – unchanging, reliable, steady, sure.

But the enemy, oh how he loves to capitalize on our pain and speak into our wounded souls lies that initially bring comfort, that bring intellectual satisfaction or emotional justice – or lies that just drive the wounds deeper and make us howl with pain.

But that’s where God comes in.  Remember the C.S. Lewis quote from yesterday?  How God shouts into our pain?

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
~ C.S. Lewis

He is relentless.

In my ignorance – in my clinging to the shreds of a lie that sought to destroy my life – to keep me bound in chains unable to live the purpose God has for me with the gifts He’s blessed me with – He shouted into my pain.

Inexhaustable.

While sitting in the Bible study, as the “light bulb” came on and flashed in my face, I realized how and where this lie began its most powerful impact in my life.

I had grasped onto the lie at some point in my youth, but its most devastating effect came with my decision to have an abortion at age 17.  My physical relationship with my boyfriend was evidence of having believed the lie, but it wasn’t until I came out of the recovery room after my abortion that the lie left me wounded so deeply.

I didn’t believe God was enough to carry me through that pregnancy.  Still in high school, terrified of my dad’s reaction, terrified of being alone to raise a child – I didn’t think God was ENOUGH to provide for me or my child.

Despite my pregnancy with Mikhael and his adoption experience which showed God was MORE THAN ENOUGH – I’d done more damage to my soul than I could even fathom.

And that’s where the enemy had power.  Where I gave him permission to speak into my soul.  Just like Eve, I walked right up to that ONE forbidden tree and listened to what the enemy had to say despite God’s warning to stay away.  Thoughts and ideas filled my mind and I became consumed with believing that I had to do for myself and that God was not ENOUGH…  That I COULD do for myself because God was not enough…

But still He was there.  My Abba Father God still pursued me – shouting into my pain – waiting for me to turn to Him again so He could show me just how He was more than ENOUGH for my life…

more tomorrow…


A Lie I Believed – Part 1

Although I missed last week’s Bible study (due to Georgie’s’ sickness), I was determined to be there yesterday.  Despite spending 3 hours Saturday night studying for my Math exam, and 3 hours again yesterday morning – preparing and taking the exam – I thought I had plenty of time.  But Math – well, it breaks me down.

It was 8:00, and we were supposed to leave by 8:30 for church.  I was still taking my exam. Roy got Curly ready – although there was much loud discussion upstairs (since it’s not normal for Daddy to get them rolling in the morning).  I thought I’d prepared enough and gave myself enough room for the test – but I was wrong.

So at 8:20, I was done (I passed) – and ran upstairs to get dressed (no shower!) and get Georgie dressed.  I got my hair brushed (but not my teeth!) and scrambled to get our things together and out the door to church.  I could not miss another worship service and the Bible study is far too important.

CyndiMac is teaching our class – and I have to tell you – I ADORE this woman to pieces!  She is ALL Southern, and she spoke at a spring event called Dressing for the King.  I’ll share more about her later.

We are studying Nancy Leigh Demoss’ book  Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free.  She talked about the chaos that had been in her house this week, particularly yesterday, and how she really believed it was a spiritual battle.  She wanted to spend the day studying and in prayer – preparing for the study with us – but many things kept her from it.

I could relate.  I had that kind of week.  Actually, the past 2 weeks have been filled with sick children, chaotic schedules, changing schedules, and general upheaval and disturbances.  It wasn’t until Cyndi began talking about the spiritual battle that I had a “V8” moment and REALIZED what has been going on.

Now, I’m not saying that Satan made my girls sick or that it’s his fault I didn’t prepare enough time for my Math homework.  I’m just saying that for the past 2 weeks, many pressures came to bear hard and by the end of things, I was rushing into my days without spending much time with the Lord – or in His Word.

It’s as if I painted a target on the front door of my home and said, HELLO, enemy – here’s an open door for ya…  Welcome and have a seat, won’t you? SHEESH!

After a catastrophic afternoon Saturday – where I was the one having the screaming & yelling meltdown in the direction of my husband & girls – an evening & morning of MATH and stress – sitting in that class, showerless and feeling “messy” everything “clicked” for me.

I hadn’t even read the entire chapter of “homework” I was supposed to read, but I think there was purpose even in that.  As CyndiMac was speaking, God began shouting into the storm of my life.

God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: it is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world.
~ C.S. Lewis

When she read that to us – as I spent half the class wiping tears away – I could HEAR His voice shouting to me through my pain.  See, I had been listening to her present the “lies” that women believe about God – and I was thinking – oh, how sad for people to believe that.

And it dawned on me just exactly one particular lie that I had not only believed but lived out for 20+ years:

My Lie:  God is Not Enough.

Now, I’m going to stop here, because I have more to chew on, and some writing to get down.  God spoke to me last night, and I wrote a post – not even understanding that He was preparing me for facing this disabling lie with His Truth in a way that would set me free.  That post will come this week, but I need to share more about this particular lie and the truth that God has revealed to me already today – with more to come I’m sure.

So stay tuned and be ready…  Here is Part 2.