Wife-ly Wednesday

Wifey Wednesday

I’m linking up with Sheila Gregoire’s To Love Honor and Vacuum meme – Wifey Wednesdays today!

I don’t write a whole lot about being a godly wife.  I read a lot about being a godly wife – I pray about being a godly wife to Roy – but it’s an area I do not excel in.  It’s hard for me to write about being honoring to our husbands, because it’s an area I struggle with.

I’m a take charge kind of gal – I was almost 34 when I got married – and I pretty well hung on to some ideas of independence that have been damaging to myself – and to my marriage.

  • I want to run to the next corner, while Roy wants to stop and enjoy the scenery. sigh.
  • I want to know what “our plan” for everything is, while Roy is more relaxed and wants to let things happen, weigh the options, consider our choices.
  • I’m so very impatient and “tap-my-foot” about so many things – and Roy is able to just take a lot of things as they come.

Our differences aren’t the problem.

My attitude is my problem!

My attitude is like the rudder for our family.  Not that I can control the family – but MY attitude certainly steers and guides our family – sets the tone.  And when my attitude stinks – look out!

When my attitude is wrong – it is based on my OWN desires and wants – and I see things going in a direction OPPOSITE of my desires and wants – I pout, I sulk, I get mad, I holler.  I cry, I whine, I get angry.

And when God finally gets my attention – in whatever manner is necessary – sometimes I can turn around and see a path of destruction as big as a hurricane.

It all starts with a focus on ME.

And then I have to repent and seek forgiveness.  I have to find humility and put it on like a robe and go to my husband and my daughters and tell them I know I was wrong and apologize and pray that they forgive me.

God never ever – nowhere in Scripture – says to take care of MYSELF before anyone else.  God never ever – NOWHERE in Scripture – says if I take care of myself then I can take care of my family better.  He never says to put my feelings, my wants, my desires, or my needs first. (If you can find where He says this – feel free to share.)

Can I be honest?

I don’t like that.

Ultimately – I’m selfish.  I want to be able to say “I’m tired – I need to put up my feet and y’all can just give me some ‘me time’ so I can do my thing.”

Nope.  A wife is called to be a servant.  To be in submission to authority – God and my husband.  To be obedient (yep – I choke on that word, too) to her husband.  But Scripture doesn’t mince words about this, whether I like it or not.

I want to spend money without having to answer to ANYBODY.  I want to make decisions without deferring to Roy’s opinion, suggestion, or advice. I want to go and do and not really have to be entirely accountable.

Besides – HE’S not perfect, so why should I have to listen to him?

ACK!  Did you hear that?  Um – my husband does NOT have to be perfect first before I submit to his authority.  I am instructed to obey God – by submitting myself to my husband.

I’m not posting Scriptures here, because I’m going to point you to a post that lays out the truth with all the Scriptures that pierced my heart and convicted me down to my toes.  I could rewrite it – but that is plagiarism.  I could condense it, but miss something really important.

Instead – I’ll just ask you to read A Christian Wife Should Honor and Revere Her Husband for yourself…

The Word of God is the Message here.  It’s not opinion – and it’s certainly not POPULAR opinion.  It is TRUTH – and it is HIS TRUTH that will set us free… It’s a Truth I need to embrace and live out…


The BEST OF The Queen Mommy’s Cafe…

I’m on a mini-vacation of sorts – visiting my parents for a couple of days – and thought I’d provide a list of some of the BEST OF The Queen Mommy’s Cafe Posts…

If YOU really enjoyed one that I missed here – let me know!  You’re probably going to notice a theme of sorts as these progress…

My Husband Deserves A Parade!

Family Restrooms

The Zombie Queendom

Red Licorice (this post has zero comments, but STILL has several hits every month!)

At the Well – Standing for Your Marriage

CPR. It’s for Everyone

Ta-Da Tuesday! My Basic Home Notebook Forms (this is one of THE most popular posts on this blog.  It still gets tons of hits every month – and I need to update it because I’ve changed several forms since it was written.)

Friday Favorites – Devotional Series, Teaporia, Mom Printables

Making Your Home Sing Monday: Honoring Dad

And last but not least, a recent (popular) post:

Here’s to Giving Up on Perfect! My Most Embarrassing Moment

From the Beginning…

“Transformation is not a light switch.  It is a process.”

This is a statement our Pastor made in his sermon yesterday – and I could totally relate.

Just about two years ago, I was still pregnant with Georgie.  I was working full-time and really loved my job.  I had a lot of responsibility and it was challenging, rewarding work.  I interacted with a wide variety of people – and my coworkers were Da Bomb!

Roy & I had been talking about how soon we might be able to manage my being at home full-time.  We had several loans & bills that needed to be taken care of, and we hoped that within a year we could afford for me to stay home.

I developed gestational diabetes during my pregnancy, and despite the concerns, did not experience the energy-draining nausea I’d experienced with Curly.  Just before I was to begin insulin injections at around the 37th week, I went into labor and she was born in July. Read the rest of this entry »

Making Your Home Sing Monday: Why Can’t a Man Be More Like a Woman?

Making your home sing Mondays

Aha! A topic I can really talk about!

Why can’t a man be more like a woman???

Why can’t he see that the trash is full and should be taken out – the living room floor is an almost impossible maze of shoes, toys, jackets, and clothes – and one lonely sock missed the laundry basket that is  sitting right there in the middle of the floor?

Truth is, he doesn’t notice those things for the same reason he doesn’t notice that the living room hasn’t been dusted for a month, the bedroom floor hasn’t been swept in days, there are cobwebs collecting at various corners of the house, and there’s only one clean glass in the cupboard because dishes haven’t been washed…

Shall I go on?  Mmmmm – maybe not.

Read the rest of this entry »

Monday Memes – At the Well & 1 Cor. 7:5


You really should pop over to read this sweet post by Penny At the Well today.  It falls right in line with my post summing up this past weekend…

Stressful times abound.  Chaos threatens to steal away peace. How do we respond to it?  As Christians?  As wives? As mothers?  We know actions speak louder than words (and that was more evident to me this past weekend than ever before)

Our questions for today are:

Life’s storms will come sometimes when we least expect them, how do we give our children a “safe feeling” in the midst of a life storm?

Sometimes chaos is created by our own efforts of trying to do too much, how can we maintain a peaceful home where chaos is prevented?

How can we as wives and mothers actually calm the storm?

My reactions to life’s storms absolutely affect my children, and also teach them how to handle the storms in their lives.  If I am trusting in my power, I am not relying on God’s grace, strength, peace, or wisdom to respond appropriately.  Instead, I react in my own weakness – and safety (or peace or joy or love or kindness) is not a feeling that flows from me.  This is when I must surrender my will, my desires, even my dreams – in order to let God work through me.  So they can see how God meets our greatest needs and blesses us abundantly, and how falling on Him in times of stress is our ONLY HOPE.

Yep, chaos is absolutely at the root of “doing too much” in my life.  It isn’t necessarily that I have too much on my plate.  It’s more like I pile it all up on the same side instead of placing it around my plate so I can enjoy each thing in its own time.  Instead of taking things one at a time, I try to do too much at one time.  I am pushed along by pressure, by panic, in a rush toward perfectionism .  Trusting God for guidance in meeting my responsibilities and LETTING GO are the keys for me to rest in the still waters, accomplish necessary work, and teach my girls – in actions and words – what is important in life: Reliance on God in & for all things.

Calming the storm for my family – I must   1) rely on God’s strength and pray for Him to work through me to touch my family, 2) pray continually for God to reign in every situation, and 3) provide my husband with the support and my children with the tools to seek the same peace in their lives during stressful times: Prayer, Singing, Scripture and Maintaining a right spirit.

Allowing God to continue to reveal sin in my life so I can confess it to Him and repent, renew my heart & mind (Philippians 2:5), strengthen my resolve to do right (Galatians 6:9), and lead me in His ways (Psalm 139:24) will provide more opportunities for Him to be in the midst of the storms that come our way.

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.   ~ Philippians 4:7

1 Cor. 7:5 Challenge

This week’s challenge:  Tell him what you want…

If you’re just joining me – the 1 Corinthians 7:5 challenge is a motivation for wives to seek out and achieve more sexual intimacy with their husbands.  The topics are personal, but I promise to be as tactful as possible.

I’ll be honest – I have seen several posts on many blogs I visit regularly about pursuing sexual intimacy in marriage.  Whether it’s just a hot topic – or whether it’s just something wives are talking about more – it is obviously a need, and something we should address.

In this particular area, I have no problem asking for or saying what I like and what I want.  My problem is not in the content – it is very much in the approach.  Sometimes I’m whiny (so NOT sexy); sometimes I’m impatient (yeah, that’s motivational, isn’t it?); and sometimes, I think I’m being very clear, when in fact, I am not being understood very well (talk about Mars vs. Venus!) and the miscommunication leads to frustration for both of us.

This area takes both the willingness to say what I need or want, but also an attitude that presents my request in a way that is encouraging, motivational, and understood by my husband.  When he understands and “gets” what I’m saying – it can be a very good thing…  It takes practice.  It takes feedback.  It requires my willingness to state and restate until he “gets” what I’m saying in his terms. And yes, sometimes it takes action…

So, I will work on this during the week.  Hopefully, I earn an “A”!!!

Until next time,


Monday Memes – At the Well, 1 Cor. 7:5 Challenge

YAY – I’m back!  I’m very excited to be able to participate this week in these 2 really great, often challenging memes!


This is a really great post, and makes me happy to know Spring is coming!  Patty’s observation is so simple, too, and I appreciate the analogy she has used.

…that the [resurrection] life of Jesus also may be shown forth by and in our bodies. ~2 Corinthians 2:10b

Join in the discussion today:

Think about your daily life as a wife, mother and child of God.
What are some ways that you have persisted when you have been knocked down?
How have these circumstances brought glory to the Father?

I continue to care about our home & family – despite the chaos of 2 little ones, trying to finish my degree online, repeated illnesses, needed house renovations & busy schedules we have.  For me, that’s a serious accomplishment.  I haven’t given up (Oh, I want to.  I say I’m going to.  I just don’t.) I made a household notebook that I am putting into practice, with charts for the girls’ accomplishments too (Curly – dressing, brushing teeth, “homework,” etc.; Georgie – potty training), so we can celebrate our successes.  Using Flylady as a launching pad, I am building a routine schedule for us to maintain, and finding ways to be more frugal.  It is a challenge for me.  It’s not easy – so I want to give up.  It’s not exciting – so I get bored.  The results are not easily maintained – so I get frustrated.

But, in fully embracing the roles God has given me as a woman, wife, & mother, I am learning how much I actually (brace yourselves) ENJOY the sense of success and accomplishment when my family has drawers overflowing with CLEAN clothes, and dishes are done, and meals are being cooked & enjoyed at home.  The small successes are actually huge for my family and that’s very fulfilling.

I believe that in accepting & embracing my roles, God is innately glorified.  It’s a struggle still – I’m far too selfish – but as I follow Him more closely, He becomes more evident in my life.  My family sees, by far, the times I fail – my girls see my actions and hear my words and KNOW when I’m doing what’s right, or when I’m being selfish.  It’s so important for me to stay close to the Lord so they can see HIM in me.  THAT is when He is truly glorified in my life.


1 Cor. 7:5 Challenge

Well, much like our fearless leader in this challenge, I’ve fallen way behind…  And this week is just not conducive to catching up, well, at least for a few days…  It’s amazing how much LIFE can get in the way of intimacy.  I honestly NEVER thought there could be so many reasons to get in the way of, well, you know…  It doesn’t help that at least once every week, each of our girls ends up in our bed in the middle of the night – neither one of us knowing it until we are awakened by a smack in the face of a smaller, widely flung arm…

So, I’m praying that by the end of this week, things can get back on track.  New panties HAVE been bought, old undies have been scrapped.  Our bedroom is slowly moving into a more romantic setting with new scents and some scenery.  And hopefully as the week progresses, I can get back into the game mentally and really step up to the challenge by getting on board and catching up – maybe even trying 2 or 3 of the challenges at once…  Talk about Shock & Awe!

So, if you have lost track and can’t remember where we’re at – OR if you’re new to the whole challenge, go here.


Ta-da Tuesday – Some Mom Time

Here I am again letting you know blogging is on the back burner this week.  Everyone is just fine – BUT my household is NOT.  Being sick – even for a few hours – is NOT a good thing for a mom, is it?  When you multiply that by about 7 days – well, the house falls apart.  Between that and my last 2 weeks of school this term – I’ve gotta keep my focus on other things.

I am trying to get back in the saddle of my normal routine, and Georgie is on an “I-need-want-mommy-to-hold-me-all-the-time-or-I’m-screaming-incessantly” kick right now, and typing (or anything else) just doesn’t work…  I think she’s teething more – she’s got almost an entire mouth full of teeth – and many have come in the last couple of weeks.

So, I’m on Mom-hiatus for now.

Feel free to check my other pages if you haven’t been.  I’ve got lots of stuff to share – wife & mom links & resources since we are Keepers At Home, My adoption experience, Abortion – My Personal Story.

Visit the links on the left & right side of my blog to find other mom blogs and Christian sites that may offer some inspiration and motivation.

Shopping is on the right side- Current is offering a great sale (if you love stationery, stickers, labels, scrapbooking, etc – Current is a great store to shop), as well as Teaporia‘s February special, too!!!